Before we jump into my tips for pushing back fear I wanted to share something a little personal with you. You see, many people see me as an outgoing, fun-loving, truth-telling, confident, Christ follower. Moreover, while I am, one of the struggles I have had for years has to do with the fear of criticism. Many times, earlier in my life, I would find myself trying to figure out which way the wind was blowing around certain groups and try to fit in. Moreover, guess what, it never worked. The first time I tried to do a private counseling practice, I went broke because I was fearful of being criticized for my fees. Once I began to accept the fact that this fear was a big deal in my life, I began to make some changes. I also began to study what had worked for other people.
These tips that I am sharing with you do not come from “book learning” although, with a Bachelors and two Masters degrees, I have done a lot of “book learning.” These practical, proven tips, which I believe are rooted in the truth of the scriptures will help you push back this fear if you put them to work.
You might want to look an earlier blog on Turning Fear into Profits
Here are the Tips
Tip #1 – People are going to criticize you no matter what you do. So why not give them something to talk about. As you grow, become more visible and share your gifts, vision and expertise others will criticize.
As you step into this venture you will only have two options:
Options #1 – Gripe, complain, moan and groan. Complain about how unfair things are and how we should all just love and respect each other. FYI: This will do nothing but make you more miserable.
Option #2 – Accept the fact that people will be critical which doesn’t mean you have to like it or let people walk all other you? Once you have done that, then take what you need and dismiss the rest.
Tip #2 – Learn to look inside and discover the beautiful, person God created you to be
Tip #3 – Listen to your inner critic and disagree. Learn to challenge your thoughts.
Tip #4 – Remember, you are an adult and you get to choose, so choose wisely.
Tip #5 – Don’t be intimidated by criticism. Look for wisdom in criticism. When people who love you are critical, trust and that they love you and have your best interest in mind. Cut them some slack and meet them with an open heart and mind.
Tip #6 – Move from being emotionally fragile to emotional resilient
Tip #7 – Let’s take comfort from Jesus life.
In 1948 Dale Carnegie shared in his book, how to stop worrying and start living, he writes: “Even if you and I are lied about, ridiculed, double-crossed, knifed in the back, and sold down the river by one out of every six of our most intimate friends let’s not indulge in an orgy of self-pity. Instead, let’s remind us that that is what happened to Jesus. One of his twelve most intimate friends turned traitor for a bribe of thirty pieces of silver. Another one of his twelve most close friends openly deserted him. The moment he got into trouble and declared three times that he did not even know Jesus and sore as he said it. One out of six! That is what happened to Jesus. Why should you and I expect a better score?
Be guided by the wisdom of other leaders.
Finally – Matt 5:44 Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!
May God grant you grace and peace as you push back the fear of criticism. You might want to also Recapturing Your Vision.
Please email me and let me know a couple of things that you took away from this article. I welcome you comments, input, and discussion. Would love to know your thoughts/