by John Thurman M.Div., M.A. LCMHC. Understanding how to craft a resilient life means knowing how you respond to trauma.
How do You Respond to Tragedy, Trauma, and Challenges
How do you respond to a bad diagnosis, a traumatic event, or adversity? Your answer may determine your outcome.
To learn how to craft a more resilient life, you first must understand how you will respond to the tragedy, trauma, and challenges that you are either dealing with today or will be facing in the future.
My Background
As a minister, retired Army Chaplain, therapist, and Critical Event Specialist, I have had the privilege of sitting with various people on or shortly after their worst days. One such event came to mind while I was reflecting on this article. A doctor, a nurse, and I were with a young single mother in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) as she faced the decision to remove life support from her infant daughter. She requested that we be with her at the appointed time, so the staff gathered alongside her and her daughter around one in the morning. After everyone shared words of comfort, I offered a short prayer, and within moments, the heart monitor’s flatline alarm sounded, signaling that this precious little girl was now in the presence of God.
Throughout my adult life, I’ve responded to over 260 critical events, including mass shootings and workplace tragedies. These experiences have given me firsthand insight into how people react to traumatic situations. It’s essential to recognize that individuals respond to adversity differently, and understanding these reactions is crucial in providing effective support.
Research on how individuals handle challenging situations has been a subject of interest for a long time, with many authors examining this theme. Recently, I found the insights of Dr. W. Lee Warren, a Christian neurosurgeon and bestselling author, particularly inspiring. His book, “Hope, the First Dose,” offers a valuable model I’m applying today, and I highly recommend checking it out. I also want to thank my nurse daughter for encouraging me to explore Dr. Warren’s work. He provides significant encouragement, especially for those who have endured trauma or difficult times.
Let’s examine his model and offer a different perspective on how people respond to trauma and challenges.
The “Crashers”
The first group is the “crashers.” These individuals once embraced life and held strong faith but often feel shattered after receiving a frightening diagnosis or confronting a traumatic event. Emotionally, they struggle to recover because they focus excessively on the trauma. This can lead to feelings of emotional numbness or an overwhelming sense of being “dead inside” as they lose hope.
The authors discuss a disorder many individuals may face in the book Character Edge: Leading and Winning with Integrity. They refer to it as a “disorder,” similar to how Dr. Warren describes “crashers.” This behavior emerges when a person encounters adversity but fails to bounce back, resulting in prolonged depression, anxiety, or PTSD. Although 15% of those affected by adversity may develop this disorder, it is vital to acknowledge that the remaining 85% usually manage to cope and move forward.
The ”Dippers”
Next are the “dippers.” These individuals lead everyday lives but face significant challenges, such as severe illnesses or trauma. Although these hardships can shake their world, many find strength through faith and support that help them rebuild and grow. They may encounter setbacks, but they consistently remind themselves that they can rise again and keep moving forward. The authors of Character Edge note that these resilient individuals return to their normal state after facing difficulties, embodying the saying, “They take a licking and keep on ticking.” Their resilience is a beacon of hope, inspiring us all to keep pressing.
The “Untouchables”
The third group is the “untouchables.” These individuals demonstrate remarkable resilience, sometimes due to their innate qualities or life experiences. While some may argue they’re simply hiding their pain, research shows that some people seem almost invincible. They face challenges without being held back. Even when dealing with serious health issues, they remain steadfast and keep their faith alive. Their invincibility is a testament to the strength we all have within us.
The “Climbers”
Finally, there are the “climbers.” This group surprises many because they often emerge from complex backgrounds marked by abuse, addiction, or loss. This group represent individuals who are experiencing post-traumatic growth. Despite these challenges, they demonstrate remarkable transformation and growth. They may face challenging situations but refuse to let them define who they are. Instead, they use strength from their faith to fuel their personal development, fostering stronger character and better relationships. Their growth is a powerful reminder that we can overcome obstacles with determination and devotion.
Post-Traumatic Growth
Studies indicate that experiencing trauma can strengthen certain character traits. Those who have faced significant hardships often report that their outlook on life shifts, enabling them to appreciate more minor things and develop spiritually. These individuals also foster kindness, awareness, and a more profound sense of love.
It’s important to acknowledge that post-traumatic growth is more common than PTSD, but it tends to receive less attention. I encourage everyone to consider how they can foster personal growth, regardless of their circumstances.
As we conclude, I encourage you to reflect on your response to challenges. Do you find yourself collapsing and losing hope, or do you demonstrate resilience, like the ‘dippers ‘? Perhaps you feel invincible or a ‘climber ‘, refusing to let obstacles define you. Getting caught up in our pain is easy, but we must resist that temptation and keep moving forward. Seek support from friends, therapists, or through prayer, and remember that personal growth is possible, even in adversity.
I hope and pray that you will find a way to turn your tragedy, trauma, or challenge into a place of personal growth and increased resilience, not only for yourself but as an inspiration for others. As you consider how to craft a more resilient life, take a moment and consider looking at my action plan.
Action Plan
The Scriptures are filled with stories of people who face every type of trauma and challenge one can imagine, yet in story after story, we see growth. As I finish this article, I’d like you to read this Bible verse a few times.
Romans 5:3-5 NLT: “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
Here are some questions for going deeper:
1. What is the relationship between trials and personal growth as described in Romans 5:3-5, and how might this perspective influence our response to challenges in life?
2. In what ways does the passage suggest that endurance contributes to the development of character? How can character, in turn, strengthen our hope, according to the text?
3. How does the passage describe the role of the Holy Spirit in affirming God’s love for us, and how does this understanding impact the concept of hope and disappointment in the context of spiritual growth and development?
I hope you found “How to Craft a More Resilient Life” thought-provoking. Feel free to leave me a comment. If you’d like to reach out to me, the best way is through email: john@covertmercy.com
Links
John’s Podcast 4 Responses to Tragedy, Trauma, and Adversity
Dr. W. Lee WarrenWarren’sHope is the First Dose: A Treatment Plan for Recovering from Trauma, Tragedy, and Other Massive Things
Lt. Gen. Robert Caslen and Dr. Michael D. MattheMatthew’sThe Character Edge: Leading and Winning with Integrity.
