By John Thurman, M.Div., M.A., LPCC

Love each other with genuine affection

and delight in honoring each other.

Romans 12:10 NLT

Marriage and serious relationships are some of the most challenging endeavors any two humans can engage in. When a couple begins their journey, they are fueled with hopes, lust, love, and dreams. Unfortunately, within the first year, those hopes can sometimes erode into despair and isolation and those dreams into nightmares. Here are five hot tips that can keep you moving forward.

Today’s article, Five Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship will provide you with time-tested actions you can begin as soon as you finish reading it.

Tip One – Watch Out for Anger

Anger can be a destructive force in a marriage. It can cause hurt and resentment, leading to further issues. To enrich your marriage, it is essential to watch out for anger and take steps to keep it in its place. Here are three things you can do to ensure that anger does not become a destructive force in your relationship.

1. Don’t let your negative feelings go unchecked. Ignoring or bottling things up causes anger and resentment to grow with interest. Instead, express your hurt, fear, or frustration as soon as you recognize it.

2. If you decide to tell your spouse about an offense or error, be sure to share your perspective in the language style of your partner. For example, if they are brief in their communication style (a condenser), try to be succinct and keep it short.

3. Don’t give ultimatums during emotionally charged talks. Even when one needs to be given, there is a better time and place. More likely, it reflects a control issue or a power struggle. Rarely does an ultimatum given in a heated moment lead to a positive outcome.

So in looking at Tip One of Five Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship, how would you score yourself?

Here is a link to a great article from Focus on the Family, Dealing with Anger in Your Marriage.

Tip Two – Get Closer to Your Partner

Relationships can be enriched in many ways. One of the most important things to do is to get closer to your partner. Here are four free, proven ways to build a stronger connection with your partner. These activities will help you deepen your understanding of each other and make your relationship more meaningful and fulfilling.

1. Forgive them for something you’ve held on to.

2. Give up one habit that drives your partner bonkers.

3 Be generous and grateful.

4. Have fun together.

How would you grade yourself in Tip Two of Five Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship?

Tip Three – Be Creative in Finding Ways to Support Your Partner and Grow Your Relationship.

A robust and healthy relationship is built on mutual understanding, trust, and support. The best way to show your spouse that you care for them is by finding creative ways to support them.

Here are seven practical, meaningful, and fun ways to support your spouse and enrich your relationship:

1. See each other as allies, not enemies.

2. Appreciate each other’s power without being threatened by it.

3. Value and nurture one another.

4. Stop seeing each other as stereotypes.

5. Celebrate the differences and enjoy the commonalities.

6. Realize everybody had wounds.

7. Be there for each other.

Hey, you’ve made it to Tips Three – any ideas popping up in your brain as you continue to learn, Five Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship

Tip Four – Integrate Fun Special Days into Your Routine

Everyone loves a good special day, whether a holiday, birthday, or anniversary. But how can you make these days extra unique and unforgettable? Here are five ways to make your special days truly memorable. From planning to creating unique experiences, these tips will help you create one-of-a-kind memories that will last a lifetime!

1. Set aside special days when you and your spouse can devote 100% of yourself to each other.

2. If possible, rent a Honeymoon Suite at a local hotel for anniversaries, birthdays, and Valentine’s.

3. Take a day off from work and enjoy each other.

4. Collect greeting cards, postcards, or even sticky notes and flood your spouse with little one-line encouragement or words of affection.

5. Bake or buy heart-shaped cookies. Flowers and chocolates are also tried and true winners.

Check out this article for more great ideas! 58 Uniquely Fun and Creative Date Ideas For Couples.

Tip Five – For the Guy’s

Men, it’s time to take action if your marriage has become dull, boring, and stuck in a rut! So get off the couch and surprise your bride with one of these five things that will strengthen your relationship. From planning a romantic date night to doing something unexpected and thoughtful, there are many ways to make your marriage more exciting. So don’t wait any longer – get moving and show your bride how much she means to you!

So as a guy, how would you rate yourself in this section of Five Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship? Here is a link to a great tip sheet from the Gottman Foundation.

Here is a link to 5 Things Men Can Do to Strengthen Their Relationship.

Link to the Podcast

Action Plan

You are responsible for your part of your marriage! Here are some more resources you can use to make it better.

Check out the links in Five Proven Ways to Improve Your Relationship and let me know in the comments if you found this helpful.

If you need to talk to someone, find a trusted friend, a ministry leader, a pastor, a marriage mentor, or someone like me—a therapist and work-life coach. Get in touch with John by email: john@johnthurman.info or call and leave a voicemail @ 505-343-2011

© 2023 John Thurman