By John Thurman, M.Div., M.A., LPCC
Love each other with genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.
Romans 12:10 NLT
Do you want a resilient, enduring marriage? In today’s article, I will reveal five hot tips for keeping love alive!
Five Hot Tips to Keep Love Alive! This bold statement is a powerful guide for those seeking to reignite excitement in their relationship. These five tips hold the key to keeping love alive and promise to bring joy and fun back into your relationship.
Marriage and serious relationships are some of the most challenging endeavors any two humans can engage in. They are also opportunities for growth, transformation, and deepening of love. When a couple begins their journey, they are fueled with hopes, lust, love, and dreams, but within the first year, those hopes can sometimes peter into despair and isolation and those dreams into nightmares. However, from our experience and my years as a person who helps couples, I have discovered five hot tips that can keep you moving forward and transform your relationship. These tips will help you build a more resilient marriage.
Let’s jump in and look at powerful ways to enrich and deepen your marriage and connection. Here are the five hot tips to keep love alive:
Tip 1 – Watch Out for Anger
While occasional anger is a normal human emotion, inappropriate anger, recurring frustrations, and deep-seated bitterness can poison any relationship. Here are three essential steps to keep your anger in check.
1. Don’t let your negative feelings go unchecked. Ignoring or bottling things up causes anger and resentment to grow with interest. Instead, express your hurt, fear, or frustration as soon as you recognize it.
2. If you tell your spouse about an offense or error, share your perspective in your partner’s language style. For example, if they are brief in their communication style (a condenser), try to be succinct and keep it short.
3. Don’t give ultimatums during emotionally charged talks. Even when one needs to be given, there is a better time and place. It more likely reflects a control issue or a power struggle. Rarely does a request provided in a heated moment lead to a positive outcome.
Here is a link to an excellent Focus on the Family article, “Dealing with Anger in Your Marriage.”
Tip 2 – Get Closer to Your Partner
When was the last time you two slowly danced together? Slow dancing requires someone to lead and someone to follow. It requires two people to coordinate their movements toward a graceful and intimate outcome.
Here are some ways you can move closer to your partner.
1. Forgive them for something you’ve held on to.
2. Give up one habit that drives your partner bonkers.
3 Be generous and grateful.
4. Have fun together.
Tip 3 – Seven Ways to Enrich Your Partnership
One of the critical ingredients for strengthening your marriage is to make sure you consistently turn toward each other.
1. See each other as allies, not enemies.
2. Appreciate each other’s power without being threatened by it.
3. Value and nurture one another.
4. Stop seeing each other as stereotypes.
5. Celebrate the differences and enjoy the commonalities.
6. Realize everybody had wounds.
7. Be there for each other.
Tip 4 – Integrate Fun Days into Your Routine
Play days are essential for kids and couples. Here are some fun ideas and links to help you have more fun on these special days.
1. Set aside special days when you and your spouse can devote 100% of yourself to each other.
2. If possible, rent a Honeymoon Suite at a local hotel for anniversaries, birthdays, and Valentine’s.
3. Take a day off from work and enjoy each other.
4. Collect greeting cards, postcards, or sticky notes and flood your spouse with little one-line encouragement or affection.
5. Bake or buy heart-shaped cookies. Flowers and/or chocolates are also tried and true winners.
Check out this article for more great ideas! 58 Uniquely Fun and Creative Date Ideas For Couples.
And now, for guys, the last of the five hot tips to keep love alive is.
Tip Five – For Guys
If your marriage seems dull, what’s stopping you from trying something new? Maybe you’re stuck in your routine or overfocused on other aspects of your life. Perhaps you’re too predictable or just going through the motions. Shock your wife! Consider who she is, and be unusually creative and unpredictable in pursuing a relationship and refreshing your romance with her. Remember, fun and spontaneity can add a thrilling edge to your relationship.
Here is a link to 5 Things Men Can Do to Strengthen Their Relationship.
Action Plan
Remember, you are responsible for your part of your marriage. Here are some more resources you can use to improve it actively.
If you need to talk to someone, find a trusted friend, a ministry leader, a pastor, a marriage mentor, or someone like me—a therapist and work-life
John’s contact information: john@covertmercy.com