Seven Ways to Help Your Kids be Strong and Resilient - Pt 1

Part 1 of 4: Building Resilience in Our Kids

By: John Thurman, M.Div., M.A.

Introduction

We All Want the Best for Our Children. Whether it’s your kids, grandkids, nieces, or nephews — we all desire for children to flourish, grow into caring, successful adults, and handle life’s challenges with strength. Right? This is the first part of a four-part series called Four Ways to Help Your Kids Be Strong and Resilient.” Over the next few installments, I’ll share practical tips and tools to prepare your children for life’s ups and downs.

Why Focus on Resilience?

Today, we’re exploring how to set our children up for happiness and success, especially when life gets tough. We’re drawing on insights from Dr. George Everly, a renowned psychologist and resilience researcher, whose work significantly influences this series. His 2008 book, “Resilient Child,” and my own experiences shape what we’ll discuss here.

The Challenges Children Face Today

Since 2012, kids’ resilience levels have been declining. A big reason? Smartphones and social media. Studies show that excessive social media use can lead to increased depression, anxiety, cyberbullying, and body image issues. It can also impact social skills, emotional regulation, and problem-solving. Add in the effects of the pandemic, social isolation, and societal negativity, and many young people seem to lack the hope, vibrancy, and perseverance needed for adulthood.

Not an Attack, But a Call to Action

This isn’t about blame — it’s about moving forward. As caring adults, we need to teach resilience intentionally. Our goal is to help children develop mental toughness without losing the Christian virtues of joy, self-control, compassion, and steadfastness.

The Power of Skills and Virtues

The good news? Resilience can be learned. It isn’t just something you’re born with. Whether you missed out on it in your own childhood, **you can develop** these traits and pass them on to your children.

What Is Resilience?

After 45 years of research in mental health and disaster response, experts agree:

Optimism and Self-Belief

Healthy Relationships and Support are key indicators of resilience. The best part? These traits can be taught—they’re not solely genetic.

Wisdom from Ancient Scripture

Let’s reflect on what the Apostle Paul wrote to early Christians in Rome around 57-59 AD (Romans 8:35-39):

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? No. Despite hardships, we have victory through Christ who loves us. Nothing can separate us from God’s love — not death, fears, worries, or anything in creation.” This passage encourages us to stay steadfast and resilient, trusting in God’s unwavering love no matter the circumstances.

Five Keys to Building Resilience in Kids

Choose to Be a Builder, Not a Destroyer

Teach kids to uplift others. For example, Restoration Pizza in Albuquerque employs people with disabilities, showing how diversity and teamwork create community and joy.

Foster Optimism and Self-Worth

Help children believe in their ability to make a difference. They’re more likely to pursue a meaningful life when they see themselves as capable and valued.

Embrace Challenges and Failures

Encourage children to take risks, knowing that failure is part of growth. As Robert Kennedy said, “Those who dare to fail miserably can achieve greatly.”

Redefine Failure

Failure isn’t final — it’s a sign to try harder. Teach children that effort and perseverance matter more than perfection. When they make decisions, they should learn to move on without fear of making mistakes.

Final Thought: Stay Resilient

Remember Paul’s words: *“I press on toward the goal…” (Philippians 3:14). Keep pushing forward, build resilience, and trust in God’s love to carry you through life’s challenges.

Let me know your thoughts and how you plan to help your children become resilient!