Respect is a two way path. If you want to receive it you must first give it!
R.G. Risch
Just as you need a man in your life who loves you unconditionally—even when you’re not at your best—your husband needs you to show him respect, even when he isn’t meeting your expectations.
From For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn
Respect
Full disclosure: after fifty years of marriage, I can honestly say there have been times I acted like a complete jerk. My wife has also called me out when I’ve fallen short. That didn’t help us, so we changed our approach. I worked on how I showed her love, and she became more intentional about showing me respect.
Ephesians 5:33 (NLT) says it well: “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
What follows are four simple, practical ways to show your husband respect. Try one or two and see the difference they make.
Why Men Need Respect. Men want to feel competent, needed, and valued. Respect communicates belief in his abilities and reassures him when he fails. When he feels respected, he’s more likely to rise to the occasion and protect the marriage.
4 Easy Ways to Show Respect for Your Husband
- Respect His Judgment. Value his opinions, decisions, and problem-solving. Many men report that their judgment is trusted at work but questioned at home. Even if you disagree, avoid undermining his decisions—especially in front of others.
- Affirm His Abilities. Let him try to figure things out and celebrate his successes. Unsolicited fixes or corrections can feel like distrust. Encourage and affirm him when he’s discouraged. Pray for him and remind him of God’s work in his life—your support strengthens both him and your marriage.
- Communicate Respectfully. Words have power. The tongue can build up or tear down (Proverbs 18:21). Speak in ways that encourage rather than belittle. If you need to correct him, do it gently and privately so you don’t leave him feeling humiliated or “stupid.”
- Show Respect in Public. Never correct, criticize, or belittle him in front of others. Public put-downs are deeply hurtful. If you need to vent, choose trusted, mature friends who can keep confidences—avoid repeatedly speaking negatively about him to peers.
Are You Where You Want to Be? If your relationship is healthy, that’s wonderful. If not, pick one or two of these suggestions and try them as a small experiment with your husband.
Summary and Encouragement
I’d love to hear from you—please leave a comment or send an email about these ideas. Building a strong marriage isn’t easy, but we have three sources of help that make a difference:
- Help from above — the Lord.
- Help from within — your own wisdom and conviction.
- Help from others — family, friends, ministry leaders, coaches, or therapists.
Try implementing one respectful practice this week and notice how it affects your marriage.
Links
10 Tips for Having a Happy Husband
12 Simple Ways to Encourage Your Wife
If you need help, get help!
Email me:john@covertmercy.com
Website: www.johnthurman.net
Blessings,
John
