Three Impacts of TRIBE 2017

​Tribe 2017 was not my first writer’s conference, but it is just what I needed at this junction in my life. Every writer’s conference I have attended has contributed to developing my craft by giving me tools, insights, and connections with others that broadened my horizons and given me the courage to push forward.

I have been a follower of Jeff Goins for a little over a year and appreciated the insight and energy that he brings to the table. When I began reading about the Tribe Conference 2017, I made it a priority to get myself over to Franklin, Tn for the event. Believe me, it was a great choice.

Tribe 2017 was different from the get-go in at least three ways. First, it was not billed as a Christian Writer’s Conference, while many believing people attended, I loved the fact that there was some meaningful cross-pollination. Second, the youthfulness and innovative tone of the presenters, as well as the Premium workshops gave me several insights in how to more effectively utilize the power of the internet to share my message. Third, the vibe of the Tribe, the genuine feeling that I was being invited to join a band of like-minded writers and other creatives who desire to share their stories with the world.

Jeff Goins thank you for listening to your mentors and putting yourself out there and inviting your Tribe to come along for a shared adventure.

Twenty-Four Stress Relief Strategies

I have literally just come back from a two week deployment as a Stress Counselor working with the FEMA Call Center in Denton, Tx. The folks at this facility take the calls from Hurricane survivors in all manner of stress, including life and death situations. My job was to be with them ans share tools and tips that could help them deal with the sometimes intense nature of the calls.

My freind, Maggie Anderson from Albuquerque is currently in Tx working with a ministry team to help the Harvey survivors begin the process of recovery, I am thankful for her photo.

Here are twenty-Four Stress Relief Tips.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know men and women are continually being bombarded with stress. Whether you are married or single, young or old, stress is an ever-present challenge. Stress-related illnesses are on the rise and have you noticed all of the sleep aid ads on television. With all of this stress we are faced with I thought it would be a good idea to give you Twenty-Five Stress Relieving Tips.

  1. Quit whining and try smiling.
  2. Take a walk and walk and walk and walk.
  3. Remember the lyrics to your favorite song, as long as it isn’t Johnny Cash’s version of Pain, you should be okay. Danger, if you find yourself singing an ACDC, Donny and Marie Osmond, or a Metallica tune call me, you might need some therapy.
  4. Remember it’s not about you.
  5. Hold spouse’s hand for ten minutes, with no expectations of anything else. He or she will love it.
  6. Pray and meditate. You could start with the 23rd Psalm.
  7. Get rid of your grungy shower curtain.
  8. Admit you were wrong, confess your mess, and clean it up.
  9. Shake it off. Have you ever watched athletes limber up their arms, legs, and head? Research shows  “shaking it off” actually helps release stress.
  10. Go to Starbucks with some friends.
  11. Forgive someone who hurt you. The only one who pays the price of unforgiveness is you.
  12. Go to church.
  13. Water a plant.
  14. Find a great view and savor it.
  15. Let someone cut in line.
  16. Download Tactical Breather and chill out for a few.
  17. Add ten minutes to your Estimated Time of Arrival. Go ahead and drum on your steering wheel or dashboard. A study in Advances in Mind-Body Medicine showed group drumming alleviated stress. A drum solo may bring similar benefits.
  18. Hold your tongue. When you want to answer someone quickly, respond slowly. The Bible says God gave you two ears and one mouth. Apply liberally.
  19. Focus on the good in a situation. Robert Allen, a bestselling author, says, “No thought lives in your head rent-free.” You always have the power to choose your thoughts. If you opt to focus on negative, non-productive thoughts, it will cost you time, money, health, opportunity, and happiness.
  20. Walk barefoot in the park, just watch out for dog flops.
  21. Write a gratitude letter. This message can take one of two forms. First, sit down, with a pen and paper (no keyboarding) and begin to work on a list of things you are grateful. Be creative. Second, think of two people you are thankful for, a spouse, friend, mentor, or parent and write them a gratitude letter. Let them know what impact they have had in your life.
  22. Get out of Debt Denial. Research shows  getting realistic about your financial situation can lower your stress.
  23. Drop the butts, if you still smoke, quit.
  24. Trip silence. A tough one for me since I am a little ADHD. Try taking a trip without the radio, CD, or your iTunes or MP3 playlist turned off. Trip silence can be a welcome break from time to time.

Hurricanes, Perseverance, and Tenacity


Today, I am in my hotel getting ready to go to work at the FEMA Call Center in Denton, Tx where I am detailed for a couple of weeks to work as a Stress Counselor. These people are on the phone 10 hours a day, seven days a week talking to survivors, helping people get their applications for FEMA support filled out correctly to get the callers what they need. I sincerely appreciate these folks, who have compassionate hearts. It is an honor to work with them. As the images of Irma flood out televisions and smart devices, the folks at the call center are preparing for the next wave of calls. Keep them as well as first responders, and survivors in your thoughts and prayers.

This is a second article concerning the components of resilient people, last week I wrote about the Two Traits of a Long-Term Marriage. Today I want to share a true story about a FEMA employee I met last hurricane season when I was working as a Stress Counselor at the JFO (Joint Field Office) in Baton Rouge last year. 
I had been on the scene for a couple of days when a woman about my age asked if I would like to join some of the team mates for a cup of coffee and some homemade cookies. Being the “new Guy,” I think they were trying to make me feel welcome in the very dynamic world of disaster response.  I marvel at the team stories of what they had done over the years as they shared their FEMA stories. In FEMA land people identify their longevity by how many hurricanes they have experienced. As we begin to break up a couple of my new friends told me that I needed to speak to Deb (not her real name).

I introduced myself to Deb and asked about her FEMA story. Then I just engaged my listening ears and eyes as she began to unpack her story. In August of 2005 Hurricane Katrina unleashed her fury on Southern Louisiana in the days and weeks that followed a story of tremendous human suffering followed.  Deb’s story begins here.
I lived near the 9th Ward, and shortly after the levee broke, my family and I found ourselves flooded out and stranded. Thanks to some strangers, we were rescued and eventually made our way to a shelter, after spending a night on a bridge. From there my children and I lived in a shelter for about a week, within a couple of weeks, we moved in with some friends outside of Baton Rouge to begin our lives again.

Once we settled in I heard the FEMA was hiring, so I applied. I was so excited when they told me that they would be calling me within a few days. And as sure as the sun rising this morning I had a job at FEMA within five weeks of being flooded out in New Orleans. I have loved working with this organization who care so much for survivors of natural disasters. After all, they helped my family, and I get our feet back under us, and now that my children are all grown up it gives meaningful work as well as some time to enjoy my grand babies.

Then it happened again. One night in August of 2016 one of my boys called me and asked me if my house was flooding. I told him that I was fine, and though it had been raining that I was high and dry. That was until I swung my feet over from my bed to my floor when I felt the water coming over my feet. I thought, not again. Well, guess what, again has happened. My home was flooded, and once again my son and some friends helped me get out of my house. Fortunately, what was left of my “precious things” that I recovered from the floods were up high on my walls and in a storage facility that was on higher ground. The only thing I lost was furniture and some clothes, and for that I am grateful.

Before the night was over several of my FEMA friends were calling me to check on my status. I ensured them that I was just fine and that I was with my boy. The office told me to take whatever time I needed to before coming back to work. Within a day of two, I decided to get back to my job which is helping others. My home was insured, I carry the Federal Flood Insurance, so there was no need for me to wait around for something to happen.
I asked Deb about what made her so resilient and gave her the persistence and tenacity to refuse to become a victim. Her eyes opened a little wider, and a smile quickly came upon her face. My people, my family, are a tough bunch. Over several generations my people have show grit in tough times. My grandmother used to tell me that no matter what happens you have to keep your chin up and look for better days ahead.  You see, I know that no matter what happens to me, He is going to be there with me to guide me, strengthen me, and give me hope. I also know that He has given me this type of work to do at this phase of my life to be a help and a testimony to others.
What a powerful statement.

Today, as I am mentally preparing for the next few days of my FEMA deployment, I am grateful to know people like Deb. As we speak, I am sure that she is in Baton Rouge helping the survivors of Harvey and Irma.
So, when it comes to tenacity and perseverance how would you rate yourself? In a culture that is fixated on blame, do you find yourself drinking the Kool Aid of blame shifting or are you in a place where you own the space that you find yourself? Are you whining or winning? Are you developing tenacity and perseverance, or wallowing in self-pity and despair. The choice is yours; I hope you will choose the higher road.

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Peserverance and Tenacity: 2 Keys to Lasting relationships

Perseverance and tenacity are two of the most important, least discussed, aspects of building and maintaining a long-term marriage. I should know, my wife, Angie and I recently celebrated our 45th anniversary. This year we took an anniversary trip to the Grand Canyon by train. We left Albuquerque on Amtrak’s Southwest Chief and got off the train at Williams Junction. The next day we took the Grand Canyon Railroad to the Canyon. We had a wonderful, memorable time celebrating this milestone, with great conversations, fun memories and moments of relaxation.

Over the years, young people have asked Angie and me about the secret of staying married for this long. She has been known to say something like, “John can quit on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I can quit on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Depending on which church service we attend, we confess our sins, we let the Lord know that we messed up, and so far he has given us the grace to move forward.

In all seriousness, if you stay married long enough you will go through various seasons. There will be warm Summers of recreation, joy, fun, and great memory building. There will be Fall seasons in your relationship when you will see things are moving toward a somber transition, some things like dreams, feelings of love may appear to be dying or at least losing their zest. Then there is Winter, a time when things could be very quiet, cold and apparently dead. Unfortunately, so many mistakes this season in a relationship as final. Then comes the Spring, a time of new, fresh, growth, renewed hope and change.

One of the most important things that Angie and I have learned are that a couple cannot avoid these seasons. Way too many couples quit in the Fall and Winter seasons of their marriage. They lose hope, they quit.
The resilient couple, those who are tenacious and persevere, learn that these seasons are just seasons, nothing more. And with that resilient mindset they live and learn through the falls and winters to experience personal and couple growth.

Forty-five years ago we stood before the Lord, a preacher, as well as family and friends to repeat our vows. 45 years ago the vows were beautiful, vintage, romantic, and traditional words that gradually changed our lives.
Tenacious, preserving couples believe in the vows they said, and after forty-five years of multiple seasons, Angie and I can both say that we have and will continue to live out vows as long as we draw breath.

As I begin to wrap up this article, I would like you to take just a moment to review the meaning of perseverance and tenacity.

Perseverance comes from the eating word perseverance which means steadfast. In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it means – continued efforts to do or achieve something despite difficulties, challenges, and opposition.

Tenacity comes from the Latin word, tenacity and means not easily stopped or pulled apart. The Merriam-Webster dictionary means mental or moral strength to resist opposition, danger, or hardship. It also implies firmness of mind and will in the face of danger.

I am not sure where you are in your personal relationships or marriage, but I want to encourage you to hang in there.  Billy Ocean, and I am dating myself, performed a song, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”
Unfortunately, our culture is becoming a relationship wasteland. If people do not get what they want in a relationship, or if they are going through a hard time, they quit and go looking elsewhere.
I want to challenge you to do a gut check on yourself and about your relationship. Are you a person/couple who demonstrate tenacity and perseverance or are you a quitter.

Make the choice today to go for the long haul.

How? If you have made a mess of your marriage, confess your mess to God and your spouse, clean your mess up, and move forward.

Here are two articles that you might also enjoy: the first appeared in the Albuquerque Journal entitled Starts and Stops; Ways to Keep Your Relationship Moving Forward. www.abqjournal.com/510859/headline-135-2.html

The Second, How to have a Happy Wife   www.johnthurman.net/johns-blog/how-to-have-a-happy-wife
Would love to hear your thoughts, so let me hear your comments.

Resilience key # 4 – decisiveness

In 2007, Steve Ballmer, then CEO of Microsoft stated, “There is no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No Chance!” He was off just a little bit.
Today we are going to take a look at the fourth pillar of resilience, decisiveness and taking personal responsibility.
Lee Iacocca, the former president of both Ford and Chrysler, said, “The one word that makes a great leader/manager is decisiveness.
While working on my new book, The No Fear Entrepreneur, I did a survey of over 1500 entrepreneurs, the most surprising results was that 74.24 % shared that Fear of Decision Making was a major struggle with them. I will address this fear and what to do about it in this short article. By the way, we are in the final stages of prepaing the book for it’s launch.
The world we live in today has changed at a lightning pace and shows no indications that things are going to slow down. Take just a moment to see how much social media has changed the way we see and do things. Markets are shifting. Consumer habits are transforming the way business has been connected at breakneck speed. The world has become a global market. I can sit in a room in Espanola, NM and order an item from Kenya and have it at my door in a week to ten days.
I recently read an article about the top ten jobs in America today, much to my surprise a majority of the top ten didn’t exist ten years ago. Man, no wonder I feel my age.
Now, more than ever you and I need to quit looking back in the mirror of the past and make bold decisions to move forward, embrace change.
While being decisive is a must, it is not a guarantee of success, but it always proceeds it.
Being a student of language, which started in Mrs. Ruffo 8th grade Latin class, I decided to look up the Latin root for the word decision. Part of the derivative is the word cis or cid which literally means to ‘cut off’ or ‘to kill.’ That same work root appears in the work homicide and scissors. Since you and I live in a world with a super buffet of choices, to be most effective requires that we learn to “kill off options” sometimes. You see, every mature decision will potentially hurt somebody.
Decisiveness and taking personal responsibility takes an act of courage. It demands to have faith in yourself and in your concept of God that no matter what happens as a result of your decision you will be able to handle it, and you will ultimately benefit from it. That act of faith in both you and the Lord can go a long way in easing the paralysis of analysis that indecision can cause.
Resilient people embrace uncertainty as part and parcel of life. Living a decisive life based on assuming responsibility for one action, will position you in a place where you will be able to seize the opportunity when it comes your way.
Action Plan
So where do you begin? Start where you are today. The best way to become more decisive is to do just that, start making decisions and assuming responsibility for them.
Remember, the scariest decision is the one that you fail to make. 
Jesus gives us a couple of great tools for decision making. The first is seek wise counsel. The second is to let our yes be yes, and our no be no. Maybe is a word that is absent from most of the Bible.
Be Blessed, because He that is in you is bigger than he who is in the world. And remember, the choice is always ours, so choose wisely.

Hey, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Social Support a key to Resilience

I am so excited to share this important principle with you. To be a resilient person, an individual who is moving forward with their lives is connected.  Recently I was tasked to write, produce and lead a webinar for a large DoD agency’s civilian employees call Surviving Stress. In my research, I was able to identify six primary qualities of resilient people. I am very grateful for Dr. George Everly’s book Resilient Leadership and some of the fresh insight I gained into leadership. Hopefully; you can apply some of what I am sharing with yourself or any organization. 
In recent blogs, I have discussed the importance of Active Optimism and Integrity.

In this article, I am going to look at the power of connection.

Research shows that healthy and supportive relationships can reduce stress and improve your overall health and sense of well-being.

Novelist and columnist Stephen Marche recently asked the question, “Is Facebook Making us Lonely?” In his article, “From Facebook to Twitter,” published in The Atlantic. He notes, “Social media has made us more densely networked than ever. For all this connectivity, new research suggests that we have never been lonelier (or more narcissistic)-and that loneliness is making us mentally and physically ill.

In one rather striking surgery, Marche says, the mean size of networks of personal confidants in the U.S. was shown to have decreased from 2.94 people in 1985 to 2.08 in 2004. In 1985, he adds, “10 percent of Americans said they had no one to whom to discuss important matters, and 15 percent stated that they had only one such good friend. By 2004, 25 percent had nobody to talk to, and 20 percent only had one confidant. I invite you to read the entire article.

I don’t know about you, but these statistics were alarming.

What does this mean? It says that in spite of all of our social media connections we woefully lack in face to face, skin to skin interactions.

Why should we develop our social support systems? Simply stated, if we don’t connect we die.  Numerous studies are showing how the lack of social support can lead to increased loneliness, depression and anxiety.
I don’t know if you remember the disturbing story of Yvette Vickers, the following excerpt is from Marche’s article:

YVETTE VICKERS, A FORMER Playboy playmate and B-movie star, best known for her role in Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, would have been 83 last August, but nobody knows exactly how old she was when she died. According to the Los Angeles coroner’s report, she lay dead for the better part of a year before a neighbor and fellow actress, a woman named Susan Savage, noticed cobwebs and yellowing letters in her mailbox, reached through a broken window to unlock the door, and pushed her way through the piles of junk mail and mounds of clothing that barricaded the house. Upstairs, she found Vickers’s body, mummified, near a heater that was still running. Her computer was on too, its glow permeating the space.

The Los Angeles Times posted a story headlined “Mummified Body of Former Playboy Playmate Yvette Vickers Found in Her Benedict Canyon Home,” which quickly went viral. Within two weeks, by Technorati’s count, Vickers’s lonesome death was already the subject of 16,057 Facebook posts and 881 tweets. She had long been a horror-movie icon, a symbol of Hollywood’s capacity to exploit our most basic fears in the silliest ways; now she was an icon of a new and different kind of horror: our growing fear of loneliness. Indeed she received much more attention in death than she did in the final years of her life. With no children, no religious group, and no immediate social circle of any kind, she had begun, as an elderly woman, to look elsewhere for companionship. Savage later told Los Angeles magazine that she had searched Vickers’s phone bills for clues about the life that led to such an end. In the months before her grotesque death, Vickers had made calls not to friends or family but to distant fans who had found her through fan conventions and Internet sites.

Such a sad story.

Why is it so important to have an active social support network?

First, it essential to life. Even the Bible talks about the importance of being connected on a personal level. Doing life together is good for your health.

Second, many researchers have discovered that social support if one of the key components in recovering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Third, being connected can have a positive impact on your income.

Fourth, sharing your life with others invites them to share their life with you.

Fifth, having social support makes you stronger both in your personal life and in your relationships. The ancient wisdom contained in the Book of Ecclesiastes says “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”
So, how can you begin to be intentionally connected? However, all relationships are not equally supportive. Building a network of supportive friends, or even just one supportive relationship can be vital to your wellbeing. Here are some essential skills that can help you to build relationships with people that are supportive and sustaining.

How to Meet New People

  • Find and develop a hobby
  • Join a church
  • Host a party or get together
  • Volunteer
  • Get a pet, and use the pet to meet others
  • Smile!

Manage Your Time

  • Relationships take time, make sure you make time to grow face to face relationships.

Embrace Your Spine

  • Learn to be a little more assertive with your people skills. These skills will hep you strengthen your relationships, making them mutually supportive, lasting and open lines of communication.

Listen

  • Ask about their life, their feelings and thoughts then listen
  • Reflect back what you hear.
  • Instead of always trying to tie the conversation back into your experiences, focus on asking for more details by asking more questions to understand their perspective.
  • Listen with your ears, heart, eyes, and gut.

Start with Baby Steps
One of the most rewarding things you can do to build resilience and enrich your life is to be intentional about building relationships.

I just finished listening to Jeff Goins’ new book Real Artist Don’t Starve. He does an excellent job of revealing how many famous authors, artist, and leaders were able to hone their craft in the context of intentional. It is a fantastic read, which demonstrates the importance of being connected.

I hope you will begin intentionally engaging others.

Integrity is the Key to Resilience

 
I am glad that you are making a choice to read by blog, my hope is to enrich your life by some of the lessons that I have learned along the way.

In the first piece on resilience, we talked about the top 6 characteristics of resilient people.

Let’s take just a second to review a definition of resilience.

Resilience is the ability to resist the manifestations of clinical distress, impairment, or dysfunction that are often associated with critical incidents, acts of terror, mass disasters, and personal trauma.
Dr. George Everly,  Psychological Body Armor.

The first characteristic of a resilient person was active optimism.

The second is Integrity.

Simply said: Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than professing them. (Pinterest post)

Another way of looking at integrity is it gives you a real, fresh, and profound freedom because there is no hidden agenda, no slight of hand, being honest. C.S.Lewis said that integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.

A resilient person lives in factual reality. They maintain situational awareness, meaning that they are in tune with what is going on around them, and that takes affirmative action to use opportunities to their advantage and to serve others.

So, how would you grade yourself in the integrity department?

Just something to think about as you learn to become a more resilient person.

I would love to hear from you.  Feel free to comment.

(c) 2017 John Thurman

A First for Father’s Day!


This will be the first Father’s Day that we will not be able to talk. He left this earth just a few weeks after my momma passed away. My Dad,  J.H. (Howdy) Thurman died on January 11, 2017. Being the first born to my family, Dad and I had a long, rewarding relationship. Through my crazy teen years even up to the week before he died, Dad was always filled with encouragement and a good story.
A few weeks after returning from his funeral in Fort Valley, Georgia, a pastor friend of mine asked what I missed the most. I told him, “Thursdays.” He said, “What?” Then I told him that for over 20 years I called Dad on Thursday. Typically, these calls would provide him with updates on our kids and grandkids, as well as details about what my wife and I were doing in our businesses and ministries. He would update me on mom, my brothers and sister and then, being a true smalltown gentleman, he would update me on who had passed out last call.

When he would share the news about friends and coworkers dying he would always be somewhat philosophical saying something like, “When you get as old as your mother and I you attend a lot more funerals than weddings.”
You know, I do miss Dad. While I will be with my children and my three grandsons this Sunday, I will deeply miss my phone calls with Dad.

With that in mind, I wanted to share an article that my friend and sometimes editor, Lee Warren published in Women’s Day Magazine. Lee lost his father several years ago, so this article comes from deep within his heart. As we approach Father’s Day, I hope you will allow his words to sink into a deep place in your heart. I hope you have a blessed Father’s Day.

A final thought before you go to my Lee’s powerful article. If you need to get things cleared up with your Dad, but all means do so.

www.womansday.com/relationships/family-friends/a50848/9-things-i-learned-from-my-dads-death/

Would love to hear from you.

Use Active Optimism to Push Back Fear & Doubt!

What makes people move through tough times?

In my last post, I talked about resilience and its importance in being an overcome in life. Resilient, tenacious people make things happen.

My friend and mentor, Dr. George Evelry has made it his life mission to understand resilience and the impact it has on people. In his first book Resilient Child (2009), he looked at factors which influenced children on the road to resilience. In 2012, his book Resilient Leadership (Everly, Strouse,& Everly), he was able to identify and explain leadership factors which build resilience in their teams and organizations. The undaunted researcher continued his studies and released the book Stronger (Everly, Strouse, & McCormack, 2015). In this resource, he looked into the psychological and behavioral factors present in professional athletes, U.S. Navy Seals, as well as those civilians and wounded service members who recovered from catastrophic injury.
What I find most exciting about his research is his discoveries can enable us to understand ourselves as we seek to have an impact on our families, ministries, and work.

Active Optimism

The first trait of a resilient person has engaged optimism. The core belief that life events will turn out well, mainly because one believes she/he possess the ability to assist in making things turn out well. For the Christian, it may sound like the Apostle Pauls reminder in Philippians 1:6, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

One of the keys to understanding active optimism is to realize it is not some “pie in the sky, the world is all rainbows and lollipops.” Dynamic optimism is based on having realistic expectations.

Another key to understanding dynamic optimism is to understand the term self-efficacy. This term was coined by Dr. Albert Bandura (1977; 1997) and means “beliefs in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to produce given attainments.” Another definition is the person’s belief in his or her ability to succeed in a given situation.
My question is; Why do so many Christian businessmen and women, ministry leaders, and others struggle with this idea.
I think it is because of our mindset.  I do not believe it is a matter or faith, but more about our mindset.

So John, what are some things I can do to increase my optimism?

Part of developing active optimism has the right mindset.

Dr. Carolyn Dweck’s book Mindset: The new Psychology of Success looks into this matter with great skill and practical insights.
Here is an excerpt from one of my blogs from a couple of years ago.

First, choose to shift into a “growth mindset.”Dr. Carol Dweck, the author of Mindset, spent her life researching the origins of mindsets, their role in motivation and self-regulation, and their impact on achievement and interpersonal processes. Her findings give us two options, a growth mindset or a fixed mindset.

A “fixed mindset” is one in which you believe you are born with a particular set of talents, abilities, and intelligence—all of which are unchangeable. Some people with a fixed mindset may find it harder to experience life change and growth. As a result, a fixed-mindset person fails to develop his abilities and is more likely to give up or become distracted and feel depressed when he fails to make the grade in his own eyes. I believe this is where so many fruitless Christians are stuck; they believe they have no power to change, which is a lie from the pit of hell. In my first book Get a Grip on Depression, I reveal six of the most common, fixed mindsets, or “stinking thinking” patterns that can hold us back. Why not order a copy today.

A person with a growth mindset begins in a different place. When you have a growth mindset, you see yourself and others as more flexible, adaptable, and hopeful. Way down inside, you know the potential for growth and development. With faith, the proper motivation, effort, moral compass, and concentration you have the ability to make the changes you need to make. A person who has a growth mindset does not take failure so personally. That individual tends to see failure as an opportunity for growth. If one path does not work, then the person will try another.

As a Christian therapist, I believe the Bible continually teaches the benefit of being growth-minded. I believe God is active in time, space, and history and He has an active, life-fulfilling plan for each of us. The Bible gives us truth, hope, and stories of those who have gone before us and have found such purpose.
 
From my struggle in this area, I know working toward a growth mindset in the middle of depression may seem close to impossible. However, the truth found in the Bible is, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength”(Philippians 4:13 NLT). This confidence is not some magical incantation or mystical, spiritual event, but it is a process or a journey.

In addition to checking out your mindset here are four more ways to increase active optimism.

1.Being successful at something. Actual success builds the belief that one can be successful in the future. Past successes, no matter how small are the building blocks for future successes.

2.Vicarious experiences (observational learning, modeling, imitation) increase the overall confidence of people observes the actions of others. For example, my wife is a Senior Leader in Premier Designs Jewelry; she has been involved with this outstanding company for the past 25 years. Over these two and a quarter decades she has shared her story of abuse, recurrent major depression and suffering a Moderate Traumatic Brain Injury and how she built her business in spite of those challenges. Her hope is by sharing her story; she will inspire her audiences to embrace their challenges with a growth mindset and trust the Lord to bless.

3.Verbal persuasion and encouragement from others enhance self-esteem and resilience. Parents, leaders, coaches, co-workers and teammates have a positive impact on self-efficacy. These various sources of support help set the stage for success. Finding a supportive and encouraging mentor can mean the difference between failure and success in nearly every area of one’s life.

4. Learning to control one’s impulses, emotions, and reactivity under stress and adversity can convey a confidence which translates into proactive resilience.

So what do you want to do? Are you happy where you are? Alternatively, do you want to work on a reset, moving towards a growth mindset, and a more optimistic world view? The Lord put you on this earth to have an impact! One of the ways you can move out of the shadows and into the light is to open your mind to the things the Lord wants to show you and have the courage to live with an optimistic world view.
 
I’d love to hear what you think. Feel free to leave a comment.

(c) 2017 John Thurman All rights reserved.

Resilience: A Must for intentional living.

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Resilience began to show up in the workplace and in popular culture in the early 2000’s.  I had the joy of having published an article in Christianity Today’s Woman in 2008, called Bounce Back, which was about applying resilience to relationships
Since the term resilience is a relatively refreshed word in our culture, I want to give you a baseline definition of the term. Resilience is defined as the ability to withstand, adapt, or rebound from extreme challenges or adversity. Developing this characteristic will help you have a definite edge in your daily living.  Resilience combined with an understanding of stress inoculation will help you live a life without fear, a life of hope, a life of helping others because you first helped yourself. Hmm, seems like a concept from some piece of ancient literature.

“And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”        Mark 12:30-31New Living Translation (NLT)

If you look in the Old Testament Book of Leviticus 19; 9-FF you will notice a very practical activity farmers and vineyard owners were commanded to do. They were to leave some of the abundances of their crops in the field or on the vine for others to be blessed with their abundance.

I hope you do not miss this important point, as I become more intentional, more focused, more successful others will be blessed.
Why is it so important to grasp this concept? Because all of the indicators point toward the fact that resilient people make a resilient organization, and resilient organizations can have a dynamic, kinetic, and positive impact on the world.

Recently I was tasked to write, produce and lead a webinar for a large DoD agency’s civilian employees call Surviving Stress. In my research, I was able to identify six primary qualities of resilient people. I am very grateful for Dr. George Everly’s book Resilient Leadership and some of the fresh insight I gained into leadership. Hopefully; you can apply some of what I am sharing with yourself or any organization.

Here are the six. I will cover the concepts two at a time over the next three weeks, plus I will also post a version of Surviving Stress up as a podcast in the next few weeks.

Here are the Six Qualities of Resilient People.

1.Optimism, faith or sense that no matter what happens that things will work out.

2.Integrity

3.Social support both inside and outside of the workplace

4.Being decisive and taking responsibility

5.Perseverance and tenacity

6.Exercising self-control.

I hope this article encouraged you to learn more about resilience. This important principle is a “must have” if you are going to succeed in any endeavor.

This summer, my new book, Get a Grip on Fear, published by Bold Vision Books, is going to deal specifically with the six common fears people face in life, in addition to talking about the fears, I will be sharing practical, “best practices,” and Bible studies to help you with fear. Many of those personal, transformational principles are rooted in the principle of resilience.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this article. Let me know your thoughts.  I hope you have an outstanding week.
John.

(c) 2017, John H. Thurman J.r, All rights reserved.