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After the “I Do’s” 2 of 3

By John Thurman, M.Div., M.A., LPCC Last week we looked at some of the ways Mr. Wonderful had lost his luster. This week it is the ladies’ turn. By the way, be sure to let yourself laugh a little as we review the before and after scenarios. Before: It is the first time you have served him a meal at your place. The table is laid out nicely. The food is in nice dishes waiting to be served, and you actually serve it to him with a smile, when he arrives. After: Now, he comes […]

The Good,The Bad, and the Ugly about Anxiety 1

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly About Stress and Anxiety By John Thurman You just received a call from you child’s school that you little one has fallen off of the monkey bars and injured her arm and that they have called an ambulance. Immediately your brain goes into the “Fight or Flight” mode.  Focusing like a laser beam, you rush to your car, call your husband and navigate traffic to get to the school. So now some moron driver on you left swerves into your lane which texting on his stupid smart phone. […]

Are Your Destined to Fail? No!

(c) 2013 John Thurman – Prison cell window,Chateau d’ if – Count of Monte Cristo, Marseille, Fr. Are You Destined to Fail? No! Do you believe that negative events are unchangeable, and you have little or no control over them? If so, you’ve fallen into the “stinking thinking trap” of Always, Always, Always. This mindset will keep you behind the walls of your prison, if you let it.  Have you ever thought you were destined to bondage, poverty, and failure? Do you feel like you will always be stuck where you are because of what […]

After the “I Do’s” – Part 1 of 3

 Marriage is more than a ceremony. Here are some tips to help you along the way to a long-term marriage. By John Thurman, M.Div., M.A., LPCC I want you to think back to the first time you met Mr. or Miss Wonderful.Like most people, you probably felt a rush of excitement when you thought about being with this special person. Those loving looks, he opening the door for you, she telling you how handsome you are.  Well, here is a fun look back at what it was like before you said, “I do” and what […]

Revive Your Mind – Quit Blaming

When in Doubt, Project Blame I work with people who have anger management issues. When someone starts a sentence with “My wife…,” “My husband…,” “My boss..,” or “My mama…,” I smile and wait. Then I’ll say, “Wow. So you have absolutely zero control over your emotions? Are you being completely controlled by external circumstances? People, aliens, the government, the president, the economy, your congressman, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your mom, your dad—it is all their fault? The next automatic negative thought or stinking thinking trap is Them, Them, Them—believing that other people or circumstances are […]

How to Have a Happy Wife # 3

Be More Affectionate   Before we talk about how to express affection to your wife, I want to review the job description of being a good husband. Love, honor, and respect her Be sexually and emotionally faithful to her. Listen without being judgmental Support and nurture her ambitions outside the home Make good faith efforts to understand how differently she is emotionally Be honest at all times and always do what you say you will do Share child care and domestic work Be Affectionate  To your wife, affection means more than cuddling or holding her […]

Renew Your Vision, Revive Your Mind #4

Stop Making it All About YouBy John Thurman You can look at any of the photos of me on this website and see that I am not bald, but am follically challenged. As a matter of fact, my wife says, “You are not bald, you are just a solar powered love machine. Well, isn’t that a unique response? One of the reasons that I am this way is because, sometimes I tend get tripped up on this particular stinking thing style. When I do, I slap myself on the forehead and go duh. That is why am […]

How to Have a Happy Wife Part 2

This is a photo of our friends Michele and Dotie, a couple that we have known for several years, a couple that loves each other and their kids with a deep and  profound love. In that time we have watched their kids grow into young, emerging adults and have watched Dodie support Michele as she had build her Premier Designs Jewelry business. Dodie is a great example of a happy man married to a happy wife, but he would be the first to tell you that it is work. Here are five more ways to […]

Renew Your Vision, Revive Your Mind 3

(c) 2013 John Thurman – Chalk Talk Get UnstuckBy John Thurman I shot this image a little over a year ago at a Living Free Service at Sagebrush Community Church in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Pastor Rick Bosh had just finished a message and he invited all of those who were attending to some write down some places where they were stuck? It was a powerful time, there was silence in a room for around 800 people with only the occasion sniffle of sadness or joy or the sharp and loud slaps of a man hug. […]

Renew Your Vision, Revive Your Mind2

(c) 2014 John Thurman – Feeling beat up after climbing to the top of Nimrod’s Fortress in the Golan Go for a Growth Mindsetby John ThurmanHave you ever had a season in your life when you felt like the biggest loser in the world. I know I have pulled more than a few “no brainers” in my life. While I am not the brightest build on the Christmas tree, I am learning new ways to psi against the “Six Big Stinking Thinking Patters.” One of the principles for reviving your mind is personal responsibility and […]

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