Building Resilience in Business, Relationshis, and Life

Giving Thanks Reduces Depression and Anxiety!

Thanksgiving – a Great Opportunity to Boost Your EmotionsBy John Thurman “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16: 34 “Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather amount of Gratitude.” A.A. Kline, Winnie-the-Pooh I love this time of year; Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays for four reasons. First, it is an important reminder of the uniqueness of the founding of what would become the United States America. Second, It is a time of reflection to […]

Thank a Vet this Veteran’s Day

I am proud to be a veteran. This photo of myself, and my Chaplain’s Assistant SGT Mary Gonzales was take back in the early 1990’s on a training exercise in Texas. I was blessed to serve as a Chaplain in the Army Reserve and National Guard for twenty-two years. Moreover, now I have the opportunity to serve soldiers again as the Psychological Health Coordinator for the New Mexico Army National Guard. I recently read this quote from the Opinion page of the New York Times, May 2013. For nearly two generations, no American has been […]

After You Say “I Do” Part #3

After You Say “I Do” 3 of 3 By John Thurman, M.Div., M.A., LPCC I hope you have enjoyed some of the “before and after” comments. Some of these happen to all of us in our relationships. One of my professors used to say, “You date the adult, but you marry the child.” One of our goals as couples is to be intentional about turning towards each other. Many couples slowly forget to do this which can begin to erode the relationship. This week I want to give you a short, practical, communication tip list […]

The Good, The Bad, The Ugly About Stress # 2

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly about Stress by John Thurman Stress spelled backwards means desserts. While a slice of Coconut Cream Pie and the Village Inn might give you a little relief from stress, you will probably feel more depressed within a couple of hours after the sugar burns off. With that happy notion, in this second article about the good, the bad, and the ugly about stress we will see just how big a deal stress is. I do not want to sound like some cold-hearted, number cruncher, but having a working […]

After the “I Do’s” 2 of 3

By John Thurman, M.Div., M.A., LPCC Last week we looked at some of the ways Mr. Wonderful had lost his luster. This week it is the ladies’ turn. By the way, be sure to let yourself laugh a little as we review the before and after scenarios. Before: It is the first time you have served him a meal at your place. The table is laid out nicely. The food is in nice dishes waiting to be served, and you actually serve it to him with a smile, when he arrives. After: Now, he comes […]

The Good,The Bad, and the Ugly about Anxiety 1

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly About Stress and Anxiety By John Thurman You just received a call from you child’s school that you little one has fallen off of the monkey bars and injured her arm and that they have called an ambulance. Immediately your brain goes into the “Fight or Flight” mode.  Focusing like a laser beam, you rush to your car, call your husband and navigate traffic to get to the school. So now some moron driver on you left swerves into your lane which texting on his stupid smart phone. […]

Are Your Destined to Fail? No!

(c) 2013 John Thurman – Prison cell window,Chateau d’ if – Count of Monte Cristo, Marseille, Fr. Are You Destined to Fail? No! Do you believe that negative events are unchangeable, and you have little or no control over them? If so, you’ve fallen into the “stinking thinking trap” of Always, Always, Always. This mindset will keep you behind the walls of your prison, if you let it.  Have you ever thought you were destined to bondage, poverty, and failure? Do you feel like you will always be stuck where you are because of what […]

After the “I Do’s” – Part 1 of 3

 Marriage is more than a ceremony. Here are some tips to help you along the way to a long-term marriage. By John Thurman, M.Div., M.A., LPCC I want you to think back to the first time you met Mr. or Miss Wonderful.Like most people, you probably felt a rush of excitement when you thought about being with this special person. Those loving looks, he opening the door for you, she telling you how handsome you are.  Well, here is a fun look back at what it was like before you said, “I do” and what […]

Revive Your Mind – Quit Blaming

When in Doubt, Project Blame I work with people who have anger management issues. When someone starts a sentence with “My wife…,” “My husband…,” “My boss..,” or “My mama…,” I smile and wait. Then I’ll say, “Wow. So you have absolutely zero control over your emotions? Are you being completely controlled by external circumstances? People, aliens, the government, the president, the economy, your congressman, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your mom, your dad—it is all their fault? The next automatic negative thought or stinking thinking trap is Them, Them, Them—believing that other people or circumstances are […]

How to Have a Happy Wife # 3

Be More Affectionate   Before we talk about how to express affection to your wife, I want to review the job description of being a good husband. Love, honor, and respect her Be sexually and emotionally faithful to her. Listen without being judgmental Support and nurture her ambitions outside the home Make good faith efforts to understand how differently she is emotionally Be honest at all times and always do what you say you will do Share child care and domestic work Be Affectionate  To your wife, affection means more than cuddling or holding her […]