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Building Resilience in Business, Relationshis, and Life

After the “I Do’s” 2 of 3

By John Thurman, M.Div., M.A., LPCC

Last week we looked at some of the ways Mr. Wonderful had lost his luster. This week it is the ladies’ turn. By the way, be sure to let yourself laugh a little as we review the before and after scenarios.

Before:
It is the first time you have served him a meal at your place. The table is laid out nicely. The food is in nice dishes waiting to be served, and you actually serve it to him with a smile, when he arrives.

After:
Now, he comes home from work and you say, “There are some leftovers in the refrigerator you can heat them up in the microwave, the remote in on the coffee table.”

Before:
You invite him over to your house or apartment and say come in and make yourself comfortable

After:
Now, with a straight face, and a rather condemning look you say, “Hey, put the lid down when you finish, you are not the only one living here.”

Before:
You hear him pulling into the garage, and you think to yourself-“My sweet-hearted man is home.”

After:
Now, you hear him pulling into the garage, and you sigh to yourself – “Oh my Lord, he is home!”

Before:
You see your boyfriend after a long day of work and being a loving, caring person that you are; you massage his shoulders and ask about his day.

After:
As soon as he sits down, you tell him all the things that need to be done in the house and remind him of the list of things that he has not done. He cringes and wonders why he did not hang out with the guys from the office, before coming home.

Before:
You took pride in how you looked and made sure you always had your hair and makeup done nicely. Your girlfriends used to brag on how “put together you were.”

After:
Your wardrobe now consist of jeans, T-shirts, flip flops, and your hair is held up with the morning newspapers rubber band. You get very upset when he does not pay you compliments or if he innocently looks at another woman who is just walking past, but happens to look gorgeous.

Now don’t get upset. We all fall into different types of ruts once we are married.

Next week I will give you six things you can do to boost your communication.

 

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